A RESPONSE TO MR. SPEAKS by Edilberto Marasigan, Jr.
A Christian response to the video that says “You want me, I want you. E di tayo na!”
Becoming a Christian does not only affect your Sundays, it is being a person adhering to the Biblical worldview which must affect your Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. It touches your personal life, love life, relationships, decision-making, family, hobby, money, work, lifestyle, and basically, the whole of you.
A Christian response to the video that says “You want me, I want you. E di tayo na!”
Becoming a Christian does not only affect your Sundays, it is being a person adhering to the Biblical worldview which must affect your Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. It touches your personal life, love life, relationships, decision-making, family, hobby, money, work, lifestyle, and basically, the whole of you.
I don’t have anything against Mr. Speaks on a personal
level, but as a Christian, I feel compelled to respond to some principles he
mentioned on his video. In fairness to him, I will also bring out the ideas or
principles he said that are good. For this article the classification of idea
to be “good,” it must adhere or at least will not violate or contradict a
Biblical principle.
Mr. Speaks sounds very inviting for three reasons; he speaks
as if he is an expert (Personality), he speaks about reality (Reality) and
gives advice in a very practical sense (Practicality). This will naturally
invite attentions especially of the millennials who are generally inclined to
instant gratification.[i]
So what are those things that Mr. Speaks said that are good or true?
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The
Reality of Fear
The woman asked why she pushes away a guy who comes to her life. Mr. Speaks’ answer was “fear of not meeting the standards” as the reason why the girl pushes any guy in her life. To some degree there is a reality in this matter, though fear about not meeting the standards is not the only reason. It is also possible that she has fear of violating a commitment with the parents, or fear because the guy might know something negative about her and won’t accept her for that matter. Getting into relationship is a very risky matter! Everyone must remember that!
The woman asked why she pushes away a guy who comes to her life. Mr. Speaks’ answer was “fear of not meeting the standards” as the reason why the girl pushes any guy in her life. To some degree there is a reality in this matter, though fear about not meeting the standards is not the only reason. It is also possible that she has fear of violating a commitment with the parents, or fear because the guy might know something negative about her and won’t accept her for that matter. Getting into relationship is a very risky matter! Everyone must remember that!
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The
Reality of “Pa-impress”
When we meet someone we like, we do three possible reactions; magpapa-impres (cool and papansin effect), dedma (kunwari and manhid effect), just be oneself (pagpapakatotoo). Of all these three, the first one is the most common, whether a person admits it or not. In this sense the person, mostly the guy, hides some realities of the traits or character.
When we meet someone we like, we do three possible reactions; magpapa-impres (cool and papansin effect), dedma (kunwari and manhid effect), just be oneself (pagpapakatotoo). Of all these three, the first one is the most common, whether a person admits it or not. In this sense the person, mostly the guy, hides some realities of the traits or character.
LEARN FROM THIS
PARAGRAPH
Those two realities occur in every person. How do we manage them? In a positive sense, fear signals us to be cautious in opening our life to someone. The Bible says “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23). This is the reason why one must not enter into a commitment before knowing the person. The more you know the person, the lesser the fear becomes. The pa-impress characteristic is not hard to vanquish but hard to maintain. I say not hard to vanquish because, kung nagpapa-impress ang isang tao malalaman mo naman sa maraming paraan. Ask your friends about their impression about him or her. You may check his attitude in the social media. Also be very observant about him so that you will have a personal assessment about him/her. As I said, it’s hard to maintain. It’s easy to impress, but it is tough to maintain or remain impressive. At some point papaltos din yan! Kaya don’t get into a relationship yet.
Those two realities occur in every person. How do we manage them? In a positive sense, fear signals us to be cautious in opening our life to someone. The Bible says “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23). This is the reason why one must not enter into a commitment before knowing the person. The more you know the person, the lesser the fear becomes. The pa-impress characteristic is not hard to vanquish but hard to maintain. I say not hard to vanquish because, kung nagpapa-impress ang isang tao malalaman mo naman sa maraming paraan. Ask your friends about their impression about him or her. You may check his attitude in the social media. Also be very observant about him so that you will have a personal assessment about him/her. As I said, it’s hard to maintain. It’s easy to impress, but it is tough to maintain or remain impressive. At some point papaltos din yan! Kaya don’t get into a relationship yet.
NOW, LET’S DEAL WITH
THE HARD TRUTHS
In this part, I will share to you those that are not good in the advice of Mr. Speaks to his audience.
In this part, I will share to you those that are not good in the advice of Mr. Speaks to his audience.
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Don’t
give up your standards!
Mr. Speaks advised to open one’s life to what the other person can give, and what he meant by that was to set aside your standards, whether high or just a normal standard. This is wrong! Standards are necessary in considering a partner in life. But before shouting your battle cry let’s evaluate first the standards that we are talking about. If you will be asked to write down some characteristics that a person you like, what will be on the top of the list? Are you thinking of maganda or gwapo? Siguro, magaling manamit or physically presentable. Pwede rin, ok lang di masyadong gwapo basta may wheels! You may list down your ideals, but the one that must go to the top is the person’s worldview which is determined by his relationship with and love for Jesus.
Mr. Speaks advised to open one’s life to what the other person can give, and what he meant by that was to set aside your standards, whether high or just a normal standard. This is wrong! Standards are necessary in considering a partner in life. But before shouting your battle cry let’s evaluate first the standards that we are talking about. If you will be asked to write down some characteristics that a person you like, what will be on the top of the list? Are you thinking of maganda or gwapo? Siguro, magaling manamit or physically presentable. Pwede rin, ok lang di masyadong gwapo basta may wheels! You may list down your ideals, but the one that must go to the top is the person’s worldview which is determined by his relationship with and love for Jesus.
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Getting
into a relationship is not just about “like,” it’s a commitment.
Mr. Speaks advised “You want me, I want you. E di tayo na!” This advice shows that he defines being in a relationship in a very shallow way, just within the surface of status. Relationship is not just a status. Bear that in mind. Relationship is a commitment taken within the perspective of marriage.
Mr. Speaks advised “You want me, I want you. E di tayo na!” This advice shows that he defines being in a relationship in a very shallow way, just within the surface of status. Relationship is not just a status. Bear that in mind. Relationship is a commitment taken within the perspective of marriage.
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Knowing
comes before committing.
Mr. Speaks said “If you like the guy already, say YES already; and then you will know na kung gago nga sya o hinde!” Things are not in its proper order in this suggestion. Commitment should not come first before knowing the person. It should be the other way around. You gotta know the person first, then commit based on your knowing!
Mr. Speaks said “If you like the guy already, say YES already; and then you will know na kung gago nga sya o hinde!” Things are not in its proper order in this suggestion. Commitment should not come first before knowing the person. It should be the other way around. You gotta know the person first, then commit based on your knowing!
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Being “in
a relationship” does not guarantee knowing the person in full.
Mr. Speaks assumed that knowing the reality will happen when two people are in a relationship already. Being in a relationship does not guarantee. A better platform to know the real score about the person is friendship. Other than your family, who are those people that know you for who you really are? I know many, if not all, will answer “friends.” This platform is more realistic, and safe.
Mr. Speaks assumed that knowing the reality will happen when two people are in a relationship already. Being in a relationship does not guarantee. A better platform to know the real score about the person is friendship. Other than your family, who are those people that know you for who you really are? I know many, if not all, will answer “friends.” This platform is more realistic, and safe.
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It’s not
what the world says; it’s what God says.
It’s not being old school, it’s being Biblical.
It’s not being old school, it’s being Biblical.
